50: 10 Lessons Learned as a Working Mom
In this episode, I have shared 10 lessons that I have learned as a working mom. I have also talked about a Christmas tradition that I love.
#1: There is no such a thing as a “perfect” mom: 完璧なママは必要ない
o So much expectation on myself and I try to do everything “so perfect” but in reality, I mess up all the time, I fight with my kids, I get frustrated and sometimes being really hard on them.
Lesson: It is ok to let kids to be creative. We don’t have to make everything perfect. Kids are not looking for perfection! They just love you as you being a caring mom.
#2: Understand what your kids want not yours: 子供の気持ちを大切に
o As a mom, we all want the best for our kids. I want my kids to have the experience, best learning environment and best everything!
Lesson: It is good to give opportunity but you cannot push kids to do it. As a working mom, everything is a “go- go- go” so I sometimes forget to ask how my daughter is enjoying. In stead, I get mad at my kids if they are not active and engaging in the class. Take time and touch base with your kids.
#3: It is ok not to cook every meal: ご飯は毎回手作りじゃなくても良い
o I had an expectation that I need to cook every meal. (I don’t know how I got this idea…) My role is now to feed my kids and it does not matter how the meal is prepped
Lesson: We gotta do what we have to do to and buying food is acceptable but to make sure you are feeding a healthy meal.
#4: It is ok to have fun: Most of the time the problem is YOU!! ママだから、忙しいから楽しめないは言い訳！
o We have to make a priority to have our own time. Self care is not selfish.
o Understand the season of life: If your kid is a baby, maybe this is not the season of your life but the time will come again
o Allow others to help you and give yourself a time
o The way how you have fun is changing – no night club, dancing but I love going to the kids parties and meeting with new people
o Making new mommie friends
#5: Give the task to your husband: 旦那に任せる
o Sometimes, my husband will also say, why do I have to help on this. Ladies, listen, no he is NOT helping me. It is called He is taking care of his own kids. I told him NO you are not helping me! You are taking care of your own children.
Lesson: So many times, we as a mom want to take a control and you want to do it on your way but no you need to allow your husband to let him figure out and do the task on his own way
#6: Say Sorry to your own kids: 子供に謝ること
o There are times that I am being too strict or okori sugi – I am still working on this one.
Lesson: Remember, each child has their own feeling, and they get hurt. It is a great opportunity to say sorry and explain why you are mad and how we as mom and kid can work together and make the situation better.
#7: Pick Your Battle: 時には目をつぶり子供との言い争いを避けること
Kids have their own feeling! You cannot make everything your way!
o Cloths are not matching? Who cares! Kids are not going to a fashion show!
o As long as kids are not going to be in a danger, let them do it and have them learn their own!
#8: Don’t forget about YOU: ママであること以上に自分でいることを大切に
As a working mom, we tend to forget about yourself because we are so busy with work and kids
o Mommy can take a break and enjoy about being you.
o Dishes can wait, laundry can sit in a dryer for one day
#9: It is ok to be a working mom: ワーキングマザーになることは自分勝手じゃないし悪いことでもない
o I used to feel bad about leaving my kids at day care and going to work. But I needed to get out of this mommy’s guilt.
o Kids are fine at day care. They are learning!
o Often times, moms judge each other about being a stay at home mom or working mom. It is a choice. There are moms out there, they may not have the option but to stay home due to day care arrangement situation.
o We all have to understand that we have a different expectation and no need to compare each other.
#10: Being a mom is not over! ママだからってできないことは無い！
I hear people are saying “once you become a mom, you have to
o Give up on your career: NO! You come back from where you have left. You can also take advantage of the time and think about what you are really good at and get the job you love.
o Can’t wear a cute clothes: You can still rock your clothes. It is your choice. I cannot wear high heels but I see moms wearing heels! Yes, your body shape may change but it is part of being a mom and embrace it.
o Can’t hang out with friends: Make new mom friends. I had to change my dynamic of my friends but now I have best friends
o Don’t have the time to do anything to yourself – Guess what! I am a mom of two and I started my own podcast and my side business after having two kids. I didn’t do anything before Pre kids time. You can get really motivated! This is just an excuse!
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